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Archive for the ‘Seriously!’ Category

In a recent survey released today, scientists from Indian Institute of Social Study announced that they found strong link between marriage and patriotism among Indian men. Dr. Ramesh Bhatia, the principal scientist who led the study, said, “We found that marriage not only makes men live longer but it makes them more patriotic.” When asked for details, he added:”We always knew that married man live longer compared to single man. So the link to longevity was not something that surprised us. But we did not expect to find any connection to patriotism.”

He said the finding was conclusive since the correlation was far above the margin of error. Over the past five years, the team asked a series of questions to ten thousands Indian men, both single and married. The question that revealed the crucial link was this: Would you risk you life and join military to defend the country.

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Rajdhani express had picked up speed as it left Dhanbad. In this particular winter night the train was mostly empty. A thirty something lady on the upper berth was too cold to fall asleep. She looked around and located the pile of blanket across the compartment. She was too lazy to get down and fetch the blankets. Instead, she stuck her head out and looked at the only other passenger sleeping in the bottom berth.”Excuse me sir,” she said with a smile. “If you be so kind and bring me a blanket, I would really appreciate it.”

The middle aged man looked at her, pulled his blanket off, and sat up.

“Sure madam,” he said. But paused for a moment and looked up at her.

“But what is there for me?”

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jodhaaakbar_poster.jpgIf Emperor Akbar were to watch Ashutosh Gowariker’s Jodhaa Akbar, he would have said, “Wow man! What opulence, very impressive indeed.” And if Jodhaa and Akbar were to watch Jodhaa Akbar together, they would have definitely fallen in love with each other even if they did not back then. Jodhaa Bai would have told Jodhaa of the story, “Cut that fuss out lady! What else do you need?”

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Pinku, though an expert in SMS and smileys, had never seen a landline phone in her five long years of existence. On a rare visit to her grandfather’s house in a small Indian town, she was surprised when the old rotary phone rang.

“Mommy, mommy, what’s that big black thing?” She pointed to the phone.

“Oh, that is a phone,” her mother replied.

“That’s a phone?” She was not convinced. “Why is it so big?”

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rahu-swallowing-sun-1.jpgIndian science of eclipses is different that rest of the world. We believe that an eclipse is caused when Rahu and Ketu, the two invisible planets, swallow either the sun or the moon depending upon the time of the year. An eclipse in Sanskrit is called grahanam.

Life on the day of the eclipse is very different than other days. Hindus bathe in the Ganges or the sea as soon as the eclipse begins. They will stand up in the water and chant Krishna Mahamantra till the eclipse lasts. (Sri Chaitanya-charitamrita, Adi-lila 13.124. purport.) This is mandatory even if News services warn you against it since the tides will be high.

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For a while I have noticed that Devraj, my colleague at work, has a strange habit. He never picks up his cell at the first ring. He always waits until at least the third ring to pick it up. One day I could not help but ask him.”I know it is none of my business, but I am just curious,” I said. “Why do you wait for two rings before you pick up your cell phone?”

“Oh, it is simple,” he said. “If you pick up the phone too quickly, it is going to be bad news. So I wait.”

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Wrong Choice

Rajani could not take it any longer. It did not escape her that Madhav has been quiet and sad all day long. They are married for 30 years; she can tell even a slight change in his mood. They have gone though so much together. Now there is no one left. Their parents grew old and died. Their kids grew up and left. All they have is this empty house and each other now. Something was bothering him, and she cannot stand it any more. She walked to the varanda where Madhav was sitting all day.

“Why the long face?” she asked.

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Deep and Niraj are friends since kindergarten, and always did things together. They even came to Cambridge together. However, during their graduate study Niraj became more adventurous. Finally, when the time came Deep went to India and married Manju, a girl his mother had hand picked since his teenage years. Niraj on the other hand married Susan, a British girl he met at a local bar. Both were happy.Few years later, while on their regular afternoon walk Deep confided to Niraj.

“Things at home are not as rosy as it used to be,” Deep said.

“Why what’s wrong?” Niraj said.

“Well, Manju has changed a lot,” Deep said. “She is no longer the sweet girl I married.”

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Ajay and Bill were best friends; they were next door neighbors. They met at work few years ago, and Bill was the one who helped Ajay get the house. One weekend during their regular lunch, while the kids and the wives were inside busy preparing the lunch, Bill turned to Ajay.”You know what Ajay; it hit me the other day.” Bill said, “You and I are not different.”

“Why you say that,” Ajay responded.

“Well, we are two guys with identical lives,” Bill said. “Think about it. We both have great job, big house, nice cars, beautiful wives, smart kids —”

“I agree but what is your point?” Ajay said.

“Well don’t you see we are equal,” Bill said.

Ajay paused for a moment and thought it over. And then replied:

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